Global Teleseminar with relationship experts hosted by Angelique Tsang

When a relationship summit has a title like ‘Let Love Come To You’ I know it is on the right track and I am delighted to have been invited as a guest speaker.

Let Love Come to You relationship telesummit

For love is not something we order, not another commodity to be bought and sold in the market place, not something we can get something out of – though many of us have tried.  Love, as I see it, is a visitor from another world, making an appearance in this one as well as upholding the manifest worlds. And it holds a reflecting mirror up to all that is wounded, unloved and therefore unloving in ourselves.

In romance, for instance, love bursts through from the unconscious into our conscious world, seizing us with its power and beauty, often bringing chaos to our day world. Romance replaced religion and for some time has been the vehicle for the return of what has been lost in western culture: the life of the soul, relegated to the hinterlands of consciousness.

One of the topics discussed with host Angelique Tsang in our interview is how a myth tells the story of a stage of life in an individual, a relationship or a culture. We have had around 1,000 years of romance and we are now at a point of readiness to make the evolutionary leap into the next stage.

The chief reason that soul finds itself on the margins of life is the lauding of self sufficiency and the mind’s desire to co-opt everything for its own ends rather than taking its proper place as a bridge between and servant of both conscious and unconscious realms.

In understanding that our job is to allow love to come to us – largely by getting out of our own way and laying the ground in preparation – we give love its due. We bow to love and when we bow to it, the soul, ever shy, enters and with it this thing we have been seeking all along.

‘When I go out He comes in,’ said a Sufi mystic, wisely. When there is less ego, whether it is in our spiritual life or in our human affairs (and in soulful relationships it is one and the same thing) more love appears.

Or rather it appears to appear. In truth it was there all along. Love never went away. It is all there is. It was us that went AWOL.

When the ego is dominated by consciousness, trapped in the world of form, as is standard these days, human beings remain stranded on the surface of life, are not aware of being nourished by the universal field or Love.

There are few roots into the unconscious and we exist on a desert island of our own making. And so our life of seeking begins.

At the root of our dilemma is contraction, the shutting down of Eros, the life force, through fear. In doing so, we unwittingly carve ourselves in two and deny ourselves a felt sense of oneness with the rest of creation.

As Tony Parsons, author of The Open Secret, wrote: disappointment is the gift of the Beloved. After lifetimes of searching we see there is nothing to get. It was only ever the seeking mind leading us around by the nose convincing us all that we have to make a deal with this thing called Life instead of seeing we are Life, we are Love.

We are not here to get anything out of this, to play at being grown ups. Rather we are here to become as little children once more, to become one with All That Is, but this time in full awareness.

This clarity can bring an end to seeking. As another great teacher, Adi Da, said, spiritual life begins when seeking fails and the mystic Andrew Harvey went further: ‘Samsara is destined and designed to break you.’

So if this world of illusions is meant to break us, then what of love and what of relationship?

We are the lover, beloved and finally Love itself, but the journey to become one with what we truly are is often a painful one as we move from nearness to intimacy to union. What stands in the way, as Irina Tweedie, the Sufi mystic found, is the blackness that soils the soul.

Before love will enter and stay we have to do the shadow work and then finally something wonderful happens. She wrote this: ‘And so it came…It tiptoed itself into my heart, silently, imperceptibly, and I looked at it with wonder. It was a still small, light-blue flame, trembling softly. It had the infinite sweetness of a first love, like an offering of fragrant flowers with gentle hands, the heart full of stillness and wonder and peace.’

If that is love coming to an individual having done a number of years of preparation, how much more complex the ecology of love that exists between two people, who may well have done very little.

Let Love Come To You features a range of experts all with different ideas and methodologies to help us with relationship, the religion of our age.

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